Question: Dear Cher,
I’m well over 50 but am in a “young person’s” field (computer game design). In my last company I worked from home for a company in California and they never saw me face to face so no problem. Now, though, I need to go to “in person” interviews. How do I keep my age from eliminating me from consideration?
Amy J., Newton, MA
Answer: Dear Amy,
You sound totally confident in your work skills, which should really be the largest qualifier. However, you are right to pay attention to the vagaries of a one-on-one interview.
My guess is you already have an open attitude, since you have worked successfully in a youth oriented business and corporate culture. You must have had to work with your peers in that environment, so I would guess it wasn’t a difficulty.
Though I have no way of knowing your appearance or personality, those will be key concerns in a one-on-one interview. They are important to anyone in an interview.
Here are a few suggestions to help make the actual interview less daunting.
- If you are not on LinkedIn, now is a good time to join. You can then request a few recommendations from previous managers and colleagues. I suggest you write a draft for them to use as a guide. In the draft, mention both technical and interpersonal skills. This will make it easier for them to write the recommendation and ensure the important topics are covered. You might want to include words like, “As a colleague, Amy was a valued member of our work team. She’s fast to adapt to changes in direction. Her positive attitudes, keen sense of humor and consistent professionalism have often been the model for co-workers during stressful assignments.”
- Ask one or two of your younger, former team members, or someone you know who works in one of your target companies, for advice about your personal appearance. If you haven’t met any of them personally, send them a picture. Request their supportive comments on dress and hair style, and grooming in general. Shoes, glasses and accessories advice will be helpful, too. If changes are encouraged, approach a couple of professionals for assistance. Good hair stylists and experienced personal shoppers (from a department store) are eager to help clients solve their various dilemmas. You will need one great, not necessarily fancy or expensive, interview outfit with a couple coordinating pieces to mix and match for 2nd and 3rd interviews.
- Ask your hair and clothing advisors for the name of a good makeup artist. You don’t have to buy all the products recommended, much less use all of them! Pick what feels good and what you like out of the recommended products.
Remember, just do what feels comfortable or right for you. Don’t think you will have to look as polished or put together for work every day once you’ve started a job. Everyone takes pains with appearance for interviews. It just makes good sense.
- My final suggestion is not about appearance but attitude. If your age seems to be an issue, try disarming the interviewer with attitude. Wear a genuine smile, and let them know you realize you’re probably not the average age for those in this position. Tell them you’ve always been part of a younger team, have mostly had much younger managers, and thrive in that atmosphere. Be sure to mention your colleagues seem to have found working with you to be stimulating, and give them copies of a couple LinkedIn recommendations. Best of all, if the interviewer is also noticeably younger, do your best to make them comfortable. Don’t talk about family. Tell them you have always thought their job must be particularly stressful, and takes skill and preparation to do it well. Treat them like a valued friend, with honest respect and admiration.
I could go on and on. Aren’t you glad I won’t? Good luck. If you have more questions just send them to ASK CHER!
Best, Cher
In previous blogs, I have spoken out on age discrimination in the workplace, but unfortunately age discrimination comes in many shapes and sizes. Last week my 88 year old Mother came face to face with age discrimination at its ugliest. My Mother is a widow who lives alone and is proud that she is still sound of mind and able to take care of most of her own needs. Last week she drove to a doctor’s appointment and then decided to go to Target because there was a sale on a medication she takes. She had been to the store many times so she went directly to the medication aisle. As she turned to enter the aisle, a younger woman wheeling a shopping cart followed her. A short time later, the woman turned her cart to block the aisle and a man came at my Mother from the opposite end of the aisle urging the woman to move her cart and proceeded to bump my Mother twice. Her wallet containing $84, two Macy’s gift cards she had received for her 88th birthday, a credit card and various forms of identification were stolen. The police officer that attended to her told her that it was not uncommon for senior citizens to be robbed in this way. She, however, already knew this because she had been physically attacked and robbed a couple of years earlier when walking with a friend after leaving a restaurant.
Here’s the story. You are an “experienced” worker who just landed an interview for the job of your dreams. It’s everything you could ask for. The job is close to home, pays well, and is right up your alley. You have the right skills, you have the right amount of education and you have well more than the called for number of years experience, and that experience is in the same industry. So far so good.
So, getting back to the title of this blog. No matter what, if you’re 45 or older, nothing you do will convince someone that you’re 25 or 30. But, will looking a few years younger by dying out the gray hair help you? Maybe, maybe not. If you are just starting to turn gray and are what we call “salt and pepper” it might be worth a shot to look 35 rather than 45. It could make the difference in a tie breaker situation. However, if you are way past that gray transition period it’s unlikely that dark hair will mask the other signs of aging like skin texture and wrinkles. In this case I’d suggest not to bother. Rather than making you look younger it may just make you look foolish.